Unite Against Racism

I initially posted this to my personal Facebook page, but I wanted to share it here, too.

”I have friends and family members here in Facebook that are law enforcement officers or spouses of LEOs. I also could guess that at least half of my thousand some-odd friends on here are POC (many being Black, specifically). I know for a fact I have people on all sides of every issue. The people connected to me here on Facebook represent MANY different countries, cultures, languages, religions, educational backgrounds, socio-economic backgrounds, ages, interests, lifestyles, colors, and more.

No matter where you stand on the issue of whether or not the gruesome murder of #GeorgeFloyd was racially motivated or not, where you stand on the use of the term “#BlackLivesMatter,” where you stand in regards to the protesting that is happening all over the US, where you stand on whether systemic racism is a thing or not or police brutality is a problem or white privilege exists...

I hope and PRAY that every single friend here would agree that RACISM IS BAD.

Surely I have removed the outright and self-proclaiming white supremacists from this page. Surely if you are reading this, you are in agreeance that racism is wrong, bad, hurtful, evil, deplorable, appalling, wicked, etc. Surely we can all at the very least unite against racism.

IF THAT IS THE CASE, and you are SPECIFICALLY WHITE (yes, I’m talking about race, because I’m talking about racism!!!), then will you also join me in becoming better educated?

Let’s all be better humans. Let’s commit to learn about, fight against, and abolish racism. Can we, at the very least, do that? Unite AGAINST racism?

Cause that’s what I’m trying so do here, by posting what I’m posting. (That, and introduce everyone I can to a life with Jesus... just saying! )

Love, grace, and peace to you all.”

Identifying Racism & Prejudice

Racism and prejudice is SO deeply rooted in our culture, our country, and for many of us, our hearts.

It can be so hard for some people to admit that they have any sort of bias or belief that is rooted in or was influenced by racism. So here are just a few questions to ask yourself, to see if there is even a hint of racism that has infiltrated your worldview or mind or heart at any time.

• Have you ever felt a quick wave of nervousness when passing a black person on the sidewalk?

• Have you ever locked your car doors when sitting at a red light and there’s a homeless person on the corner?

• Have you ever dressed up on Halloween as an “Indian”? Worn a sombrero and a poncho and a stick on mustache to pretend to be Mexican? Just straight up worn blackface?

• Have you ever purposely not driven through a low-income area because you found it to be “sketchy” or scary or uncomfortable?

• Have you ever made a joke about watermelon and fried chicken? Or how black kids don’t have dads? Or how you’re surprised a black guy isn’t in jail yet? Or a joke about Asian ladies doing nails? Or a joke about Mexicans having to cross the river?

• Have you ever felt uncomfortable seeing someone in a turban? Or a hijab? Or a burka?

• Have you ever asked “dot or feather?” Told someone they don’t “sound black”? Argued, “well, it’s not like I’M the one who owned slaves!” Been cut off by a driver and scoffed and said, “of course she’s Asian!”?

• Have you ever been frustrated or angry or confused when a Spanish commercial comes on? When you hear people speaking Spanish in the classroom? When someone is speaking Spanish at the grocery store?

• Have you ever celebrated Columbus Day? Were you taught that he is a hero?

• Have you ever found yourself to be unattracted to an entire race of people? Or on the flip side, have you ever fetishized a specific race?

• Have you ever used a racial slur? Including, but not limited to the n-word, redskin, white trash, oreo, Jap? Have you ever said you were “gypped”? Have you ever said “[n-word] rigged”? Called someone the r-word? Said something was “ghetto”? Called someone “an illegal”?

This list of questions is by NO means exhaustive. But it may give you a glimpse into the many micro-aggressions that have been normalized in our culture and that keep people of color (and women, and differently-abled, and the neuro-diverse, etc) marginalized and discriminated against.

If you’re guilty of any of this (as I am!!!), a proper response would be to acknowledge it. To educate yourself. To apologize when necessary. To monitor your language. To do better.

It is a good and healthy thing to admit that you were wrong before (even if you were wrong without even knowing it!) and to vow to do better.

Balance

Today, I’m meditating on my word for this year: balance.

There is so much newness, so much uncertainty, so much sweetness, so many obstacles... so much to take in. I’m learning over and over again how important it is for me to seek balance. In the midst of motherhood, I need balance between experiencing the joys and sitting in my suffering. In the midst of crisis, I need balance between feeling the weight of it and looking toward Hope. In the midst of quarantine, I need balance between staying productive and allowing myself to rest.

There is a balance to be found in self-care and self sacrifice. There is a balance to be found in being transparent about what you’re going through without complaining all the time. There is balance to be found between pursuing physical health and choosing to love the body God created. There is balance to be found in seeking information from each side of an issue, balance to be found in our priorities, balance to be found in our relationships.

When I feel unsteady, I ask Christ for balance. He is the One who created me and created everything around me. He know what I need. And He is faithful to grant wisdom and grace to me when I become off-kilter.

He is grace and truth. He is justice and mercy. He is joy and mourning. He is everything He is and He is perfect in it all. He is the one who guides me and teaches me and provides me with the balance I seek.

I’m praying you find balance today, too.

Just Stay Healthy

Listen, I’m a life coach. So much of what I’m trained to do is help people set and achieve their goals. But this season? This is weird.

As soon as this virus started spreading, I took a big step back. So much of my market became immediately saturated with coaches who wanted to rush in and tell you how to use this time to your advantage, how to hustle hard from home, how to monetize your hobbies as we all suddenly got told to stay home.

I get that, perspective, I do. And I get that the LARGE majority of coaches are self-employed and also trying to find financial security in the midst of a crisis.

But this message of “if you don’t use this time to do [BLANK] then you are undisciplined/unmotivated/uninspired/etc.” — that’s not a message I want to preach.

We are in an unprecedented time. This global health pandemic is a very traumatic experience for so many people. Maybe you have more time at home, but that doesn’t mean you HAVE to be productive, HAVE to get your side hustle going, HAVE to take up a new hobby, HAVE to learn a new skill, HAVE to do anything.

Stay healthy, friends. If for you, that means you need to rest, rest. If it means you need something new to do, do it. If a new hobby helps you cope, by all means, get on it! But there should be no pressure to produce more because we are undergoing a global crisis.

Just stay healthy. Whatever that means for you.

And if I can help you, I’m here.

This pandemic is affecting the mental health of MANY of us, whether or not any previous mental health issues existed. I get that. I can empathize with that. I specialize in that. So if I can help you, I’m here. PLEASE reach out.

And if you WANT to grow your business or hustle hard or set new goals or revisit you vision or take this time to reset and reevaluate your whole life, I can help you with that, too!

But do not be pressured by any societal messages that are guilting you into that path. Just staying healthy is enough. 

Growing Pains

Life transitions can be hard, y’all. Even the good and exciting and fun transitions can bring stress and heartache and frustration.

It easy to remember that the less-than-fun transitions, the ones you don’t want, the changes you didn’t initiate, can be hard. Maybe you’re navigating a breakup, grieving the death of a loved one, moving back into your parents’ house. Frustration can be expected.

But what about when you are graduating high school, beginning college, starting your dream job, moving to a new home, marrying the love of your life, buying a new car, or bringing home a baby? Those are HUGE life changes, and they’re not all sunshine and rainbows.

Even the exciting seasons of life being growing pains.

Right now, in my life, I’m still pretty newly married (less than 2 years) and now I’m a pretty brand new mama (baby girl is 12 weeks old today). I am so blessed to be married to my childhood friend and teenage sweetheart, but we are still learning how to navigate our relationship. We still have very serious communication fails and we still hurt each other’s feelings. And this sweet baby girl is the most precious gift, but my whole life and body and sleep schedule is all turned upside down.

It’s easy to feel disappointed when your exciting new life changes bring unexpected stress. A tiny way to ease the disappointment is by enjoying the little things along the way. In any season, any chapter, in any challenge — find little things to enjoy. (Another thing you can do is invest in a life coach to guide you to and through your new life changes. But hey, you already knew that, right?)

What about you? What little things are you enjoying today? Today, I’m enjoying coffee, baby snuggles, and clean hair.